My Thesaurus
When I was in school, I was blessed with my Arabic language teachers. I grade 4, my teacher of Arabic was the school principal and she was a poet. She taught me the basics of Arabic grammar and spelling through stories and dramatization. When I was in grade 6, my teacher of Arabic required that we read Arabic texts paying attention to word endings. In grade 7, my teacher of Arabic was a journalist and she made Arabic lessons interesting by telling us about her work at the newspaper. In grade 8, my teacher of Arabic used to tell us about recreational reading and how she used finish 2 books per week by reading for 30 minutes a day. These 30 minutes were her break time from housework and taking care of her 3 little kids. In Grade 9, I was studying about pre-Islamic literature and the poets of Mu'allaqaat. She always recited poems with good expression and made me visualize that age.

In the summer holiday I used to read about Arabic literature and collections of poems. I was fascinated by the richness of the Arabic vocabulary and the many names the Arabic language has for the camel, horse, sword, lion ... etc. I thought about collecting word synonyms. So I started to compile the words that refer to the camel, horse, lion, sword ... etc. Something similar to Rogets thesaurus. When I told my uncle about that, he bought me an Arabic dictionary (Al-munjed). I used to read and search the dictionary for words that I could add to my dictionary.

My dictionary consisted of chapters each of which has a topic. Topics are in alphabetical order and words in my dictionary are also in alphabetical order. I used to work on my dictionary in the summer holiday (between grade 10 and college freshman years). My dictionary is hand-written and I still have it.

How my father encouraged me to learn English
I was English major in college and in my freshman year my father got sick. He went to the doctor's who gave him some medications. When my father got home, he called me and asked me to read the leaflets of his medications and tell him what the side effects and indications of each medicine are. I apologetically said that I was still freshman and that I was English not medicine major. "There are many difficult words in the leaflet", I added. "Shame on you",my father responded. "Is that why I sent you to college? I am not asking you to give me an answer now. Don't you have a dictionary?, he added. "Yes I do" I replied. "Take your time. Look up the meanings of the difficult words in the dictionary and then give me an answer", he advised. So I sat and looked up the meanings of all the difficult words in order to give my father the information that he needed. This way I exposed to English medical terminology. Learning medical terminology became an enjoyable task. In addition, every time my father received an English telegram, he would hand it to me and ask me to tell him what it was about. When I was junior in college, he asked me to listen to the news on the BBC and tell him about the world news, i.e., what was going on in the world. When I first listened to the BBC news, I could not understand much and could not re-tell the meaning in Arabic. since BBC news is broadcast every hour, I listened to the same news cast several times a day while my father was out at work, in order to be able to tell him the details in Arabic. I thank my father for pushing me to go beyond books and what I was learning in class and for teaching me to search for information instead of saying "I can't" and "I do not know". He also taught that when one does something for the first time, he/she may not find it easy, but the task gets easier by, repetition, practice and determination. Soon difficult tasks become easy and fun.

My Graduation Reception
After the defense was over, I accompanied my advisor to her office. She was so pleased to see the flower bouquet that I had for her as a surprise in her office as none of her students ever did that to her before. Unexpectedly, she offered to host my graduation reception at her house and offered to help me prepare for it. So I made a list of the people whom I wanted to invite, professors and students set a date for the reception and wrote invitations for 45 people. Few days before, my friend Edith and myself went shopping for the party. We filled the car with napkins, plates and cups and other things. I made 200 samosas the night before. In the morning, my advisor came over to my place, picked me up and drove me to the grocery store. I filled the cart with the groceries that I needed and to my surprise, she paid for all the groceries. When we arrived at her house, she helped me take the things into the kitchen and I started cooking. I cooked Arabic food. My advisor and her husband did all the cleaning, without whose help; I would have never been able to do. As soon as I used a spoon or a plate, they would pick it up and wash and if I spilled or dropped something, they would wipe it up right away. In addition, she baked a date cake and her husband cooked roast lamb. About lunchtime, they prepared me a most delicious lunch which consisted of toast, cheese and canned peaches. While preparing the food, they got me coffee, tea and juice and chatted with me. They helped me set the table, and decorate the dining room where the reception was to be held. The also started the fireplace. By 3:00 p.m., everything was ready. Before the arrival of the guests, my advisor took pictures of me with the food. It was an open house type of party. The guests arrived whenever they wanted between 3:00-6:00 P.M. I took pictures of all the guests. My advisor and her husband helped me a lot in receiving the guests and serving them and made sure that everything was fine. All my guests were pleased with the food and enjoyed themselves in a warm and friendly atmosphere despite the white snow, which was falling heavily outside. As long as I live, I can never forget my advisor and all she did for me. She was my mother, whenever I needed a mother. She was always a friend whenever I needed someone to listen and always opened her heart and home whenever I needed affection and sought refuge.

A Warm Defense on a Cold Day
My defense was scheduled at 3:00 p.m., November 25, 1985. It was a cold and cloudy day and we were expected to have freezing rain for the first time in five years. Although I was excited about my defense, I was a bit nervous. So I went to my advisor for moral support. She was warm and smiling as usual and assured me that everything would be fine. She asked me not to be defensive if any of my examiners was critical, but rather to thank him for his comment and ask how I could correct the point and make it better. Moreover, she asked me to go to the library and find an article that one of my examiners had published, read it and be ready for any possible questions about it. So I did.

Around lunchtime, I went home, had lunch, took off my snow boots and put on a new dress and a pair of new shoes that my mother had sent me for the occasion. Since we were having freezing rain, slipping and falling down was very likely. I did not expect anything to happen and thought that I would be fine as I was not going to walk very far to the bus stop, which was only a few yards away from my apartment. I also thought that getting off the bus would not be a problem, since I did not have to walk a long distance to the college building.

After holding my thesis and other documents close to my heart, I walked slowly and cautiously on the grass. But the minute I set my foot on the sidewalk, I slipped and my elbow hit the sidewalk so hard. I felt an electric shock go through my whole arm and it started to hurt so badly. Despite the pain, I got up, collected my papers and took the bus.

I got off by the mall, which was close to the College of Education, went to the flower shop, and bought a big flower bouquet for my advisor in spirit of appreciation for what she had done for me. I went to the secretary’s office and asked her to put it in my advisor’s office after leaving for the defense. I asked the secretary to make sure that my advisor does not see it, as I wanted to surprise her.

Shortly before I went to the Conference Room where the defense was to be held, my friends Jessie and Edith had a surprise for me. They gave me a flower bouquet and we took pictures together. Soon we headed toward the Conference Room. Although the defense is usually private, my uncle, and few of my friends attended my defense, as I was a foreign student. Soon, my six examiners arrived and we all sat around a large oval table. They all praised the high quality work I had done and expressed their admiration for how much time and effort I put into my thesis. My thesis was almost perfect. They had nothing to critique whether at the linguistic or methodological level. So they just asked me to give a summary of my study without orally and asked questions about how I could apply the results of my study in teaching ESL. I was able to answer all the questions with confidence and ease and as I responded to questions my advisor gave a sign of approval and admiration by smiling. Before the end of the defense, the guests and myself were asked to leave the room. So we left and waited outside. In few minutes, we were asked to re-enter and my advisor announced that I had passed with distinction. Before leaving the room, my friend Duangrudi took pictures of me with my examiners. Then my uncle and friends hugged me and soon we all left, as it was 5:00 p.m.

Throughout the defense, I forgot all about my elbow and did not want the pain to spoil the occasion. As soon as I got home, I started to feel the pain in my elbow. I was unable to hold anything in my hand, even my coffee mug. The following day, I went to the clinic, the doctor examined my elbow and had some x-rays taken. There was no fracture, just a severe trauma. After a month, my elbow recovered, however, reminding me that roses always bloom among thorns.

Losing My Ph.D. Thesis
The first step in preparing a doctoral thesis begins with preparing a proposal. A proposal is a summary of what a doctoral thesis is about, i.e., the topic to be investigated and the research methodology. A proposal is usually presented to the student’s committee that reads and approves or disapproves the student’s proposal. If the committee approves the proposal, then the student can go ahead and finish the thesis. If not, the student has to consider another topic for her/her thesis.

Unlike other proposals, my proposal consisted of 130 pages and took a whole year to prepare. I visited several schools and observed ESL classes. I prepared my observation form, applied it, told what statistical techniques I was going to use, and what results I expected to obtain. In brief, my proposal contained a detailed account of what I was going to do in my thesis.

Every day, I went to the Computer Center, and worked on my proposal for long hours. After finishing a particular section, I would type it on the computer, print it, and hand in to my advisor. My advisor would read it and write comments on it. Then I would make the necessary corrections and retype that section. I did that several times as my advisor was always meticulous and always made sure that everything was perfect.

One day before I was supposed to turn in my proposal to my committee members, I was making my final corrections in the evening. After working for few hours, I wanted to take a short break. So I saved my work, crossed the street, and went to the Quicktrip store, for coffee. After I had my coffee, I went back to the Computer Center to print the final version of my proposal. To my surprise, every time I tried to open my thesis file, the computer responded by saying that there was no file. After several trials, I discovered that I had lost my whole thesis, i.e., my 130 pages as a result of a mistake that I made in saving my thesis file.

I cannot find the words to describe how I felt that moment. I felt like a multimillionaire who had lost all his money in a second. In just a second, all kinds of ideas were going on in my mind. I was thinking of what I might do to have my thesis ready by the next morning. It was not possible to take the draft that I had at home and make 6 copies of it, as all the photocopying centers were closing. It was not also possible to retype 130 pages myself and have them ready by the next day. It was too late to contact a secretary at 8:45 p.m., have her retype my proposal and have it ready by the next day. In brief, I was in a predicament. I could only visualize failure. I felt that that was the end of my graduate study and was certain I would never see the day I graduate. So I broke down and cried my heart out.

I was somewhat lucky, because this happened 15 minutes before the Technical Support Office at the Computer Center closed. So I dashed through the door, dropped on the chair, and cried heartily. I can never forget how kind the T.A’s at the Technical Support Office were. They calmed me down and asked whether I was working on my proposal the previous day. I answered in the positive. They said they could restore that version not the one that I lost. They also told me that they always saved a backup copy of every student’s work, as they knew students very often lost their work as a result of fatigue. I could not believe what I heard. He wrote the “restore commands” for me and said that my thesis would be restored 8:00 a.m. the next day. He added that if I did not get it at 8:00 a.m., they would make another request and I would regain my thesis at 11:00 a.m. I typed the “restore commands” right away, ran back to the Technical Support Office and begged the T.A. to check and see whether I followed the steps correctly.

Soon, I went home. I was still in a state of shock, thinking of what happened and could not sleep that night at all. I was looking at the clock all night long and could not wait for the sun to come out. I ran to the computer center early in the morning and waited for the clock to strike 8:00 a.m. I turned the computer on, checked it and the thesis was there. I saved my thesis three times. I spent the whole day making the corrections that I made the night before. Later, every time I wanted to save my work, I stared at the keyboard with terror, hesitated and then made sure that I press the right key. I finished the corrections and had the 6 copies printed just in time. I carried all 6 copies and ran from building to building to hand the proposal to each committee member. By the time I finished, it was 5 p.m., the end of the day and finally gave a sigh of relief.

My father's death during final exams
When my father passed away, I was an M.A. student and it was final exams. It was Monday night and I was studying for the final exam of course about education administration. The following morning I went to school as I was a teacher and when I got home in the afternoon I knew that my father had passed away. I could not go to the university to sit for the final exam. The following Tuesday was the last day of the course and we were supposed to go to class to give a presentation about our research papers. So I thought I would be possible for me to re-take the final exam then. So after the funeral and morning days were over (3 days), I tried to study but I could not. I was so sad that it was difficult for me to concentrate. I spent 6 hours studying one page but in vain. On Tuesday (a week after my father's death) I went to class. When my instructor saw me, she asked me why I did not take the final exam. I told her that my father passed a way. She said she was sorry and that I had to re-take the exam right then. I told her that I could not review the material and was not ready. She insisted that I take it then and if I did not, I would get a zero. She added that even though I was the best student in her class and even if I get a full mark for my semester work, I would fail the course, if I don't. She asked me to go out and try to review while my classmates are giving their presentations and that I had to sit for the test at the end of the session, i.e. 60 minutes. I went out of the classroom and started to cry. Some of my classmates gathered around me. Some offered to read for me and others offered me their notes. I told them that I was having trouble concentrating and recalling and that it was impossible to review a whole semester's material in just an hour. I was certain I was going to fail. While crying, I was flipping the pages of my notes and felt that there was no way out. An hour later, I went in and sat in front of my instructor. She asked me questions that I could answer without having reviewed the material and I answered them all. She smiled at me and said that I have passed with an A.

Molar Toothache during Final Exams
Between my freshman and senior years in college my 4 molars (wisdom teeth) came out. My molars used to come out one at a time and one per year. The best time for my molars to come out was during final exams, which always lasted for more than 2 weeks. Every time, a molar came out, I was in severe pain. I would have high fever; a headache and a very swollen cheek. In addition to traditional remedies, I always went to the dentist who would give my antibiotics, pain relievers, fever reducers and a mouthwash. I always had a minor oral surgery in which the dentist would cut the part of the gums covering the top of the molar to help it come out. It was difficult for me to sleep, to eat and to study. So I always cried and cried and cried. My father used to sit by my bed at night, take care of me and give me moral support. No matter how painful my molars were, I never missed a final exam. I always reviewed as much as I could, and would go to college with a swollen cheek and sit for the exams. I never felt like postponing the final exams. I was always patient and always passed with excellent grades.

Studying Grade 12 At Home
When I was in grade 12, there was only one high school for girls in Mecca and that school had only one class for students in the arts track. I was in the science track. So I had to study at home and had to sit for the final exam at the end of the academic year.

During grade 12, I was fully responsible for my own studying as my father was always out at work, my mother could not read or write, my older brother was in the States and I was the oldest child at home. In addition, I was a proud student and had great self-confidence. Studying at home was a new experience for me. I considered more as an adventure than as a burden or obstacle, and I enjoyed the challenge very much. I decided to succeed in my endeavor no matter how much it cost me, as grade 12 was a critical year in my life. I felt that I was my own master.

At the beginning of the school year, my father got me all the books. I went through the books one by one and examined the number of chapters in each. I divided each book by the number of months in the academic year, then by number of weeks and found out how many pages I needed to cover each week. Those, in turn, were broken into two, three and four study sessions per week. Weekly allotments differed from one subject to another.

Second, I sat to build my own study schedule. I built two schedules: A morning schedule and an afternoon schedule. My morning schedule was similar to a school schedule and my afternoon schedule was for reviewing, doing homework and solving problems and preparing for the next day. In my morning schedule I had 5-7 classes per day. Each class lasted for 45, 60 or 90 minutes depending on the length and difficulty level of the subject. I also had breaks in between, a lunch hour and naptime. During the study periods, I used to read the assigned pages, as a teacher would do in class.

In my afternoon schedule, I also had several study periods, breaks, and time for dinner. In the afternoon, I reviewed what I studied in the morning, and did all the exercises and solved the math and science problems in my textbooks. In addition to that, I had 4 tutors who taught me four subjects: math, Arabic grammar and rhetoric, physics and English. I studied the rest of the subjects on my own without the help of tutors. My tutors never explained the lesson in full to me. Rather, they explained the parts that I did not understand and helped solve the math and science problems that I found difficult. Each tutor came twice or three times a week. Tutoring sessions were part of my afternoon schedule as well.

I always started my morning sessions at the same time and stopped studying at the same time, took lunch and a nap and then resumed my afternoon schedule at the same time. I always tried to stick to the time allotted to each subject whether I finished the part I was supposed to study for that day or not. If I finished a subject in less than the designated time, I would use the remaining time to finish what was unfinished. This happened occasionally.

I always started my day and moved from one subject to another with a surge of enthusiasm. I enjoyed every word I read and every problem I solved. The more I covered of each subject, the greater my sense of achievement became.

Two months before the final exams, I had covered all the material in my textbooks and had started my review of all the subjects. I reviewed every textbook, solved all the math problems and did all the exercises 3 times. I had a special schedule for that as well.

By the time the final exams started, I had mastered all the subjects. I had one final exam per day. During the test session, I had no problem recalling the information and answering the questions, although I did not have in-term tests during the academic year like students in a regular school. In my case, each final exam was graded out of 100. When the final exam results were published in the newspaper, I found out that I had passed with good grades. My parents, especially my father, were very proud of me.

Passing the high school exam had a special value to me as it culminated a year full of hard work and the highest level of self-discipline and determination. It gave me more self-confidence, and strengthened my belief in my ability to achieve anything I aspire for.

Studying French in Grade 10
Between the ages of 5-15, I lived in Jordan where I went to school. In the middle of grade 10 I moved back to Saudi Arabia. My father registered me in Al-Zahra'a School. On my first day, I found out that my classmates were taking French and had covered half of the textbook. I did not know a single word. I did not panic at all because I loved to learn languages and thought learning French would be exciting. When I got home, I told my father about it and he took me to a tutor: an old teacher from Lebanon. In the first class we started with Unit One which consisted with a set of pictures and the names of the objects underneath (4 rows of pictures with 4 pictures in each row). He read them once for me and asked me to read. I started laughing because I could not pick up the pronunciation of those words. I was the first time I hear French words. I started to read and the tutor prompted me. Next, the tutor asked me to look at the first row of pictures, close the book and spell them without looking at the book. I found that task challenging and could only spell those that were similar to English like "auto, tente" but misspelled the rest. The teacher said that was O.K. because it was the first class and that I was supposed to memorize all the words at home and had to spell them the following day. He told me he wanted me to have a good foundation in French. I went home excited and thought the first class was fun. Every time I went to the tutor's, I took several lessons, had to read, had to spell and most importantly had to write down the verb conjugation. I found French grammar a bit difficult because there is feminine and masculine gender and the definite and indefinite articles have to agree with the noun in number and gender. I had to remember the gender of each noun and I found nouns whose gender is different from Arabic difficult and confusing. But those required more memorization, more review. I always studied and memorized everything the teacher taught me. Everyday I had to spell and recite the conjugation of verb "etre" and "avoir". The tutor was a good language teacher but very strict. If I made a single mistake or forgot a form that goes with a single pronoun, or forgot the gender of a noun, he would tell my father that I was not studying properly. He would also tell me that I was negligent. He expected me to know every single word perfectly well. My father was very understanding and never yelled at me or punished me. Everyday, I studied the words (meaning, spelling, conjugation, singular and plural forms), answered the comprehension questions. At the end of the week, I'd review the whole weeks work. I would spend extra time studying and reviewing those words that I found difficult or confusing. When I was a student, I always liked to go beyond the book for extra practice. I used my brother's French-Arabic dictionary to learn extra words and read more about French grammar. The dictionary had an appendix that covered everything a student needs to know about French pronunciation and French grammar. Very accurate and detailed descriptions and explanations were given in Arabic. I used to read the instructions and apply what is there. In just few weeks, I could catch up with my classmates and I became very good in French. I even surpassed my classmates who were struggling with the French language. Our French teacher at school was a lady from Lebanese and she had difficulty managing the class and making things clear, i.e. she was a poor language teacher and the students did not know much French. So I started to teach my classmates everything my tutor taught me.

My First Day in School
When I was five years old, my parents sent me to Jordan to start school. I got there at night and the following morning my aunt took me to school. I still remember 2 unusual, but interesting incidents that happened that day which I will never forget for the rest of my life. The first one is the candy boxes that my grandfather had bought and had my aunt take to school as a gift for my teachers and classmates. Before I went to my classroom, my aunt took me to the principal's office and had me hold one box and offer it to the school principal. I did that with my arms up (I was too short and the principal was too tall then), my head down and my eyes looking at the floor. I was so shy as all the teachers were looking at me and smiling. Next, we went to my classroom and I had to carry the second box, go around and give candy to every child in my class. Once again I was shy as I was never among so many children in one room. The reason I had to take candy with me to school was that when I was born, I was the first baby girl in the family. My grandfather was so happy. He made a promise that if he lived to see me go to school, he would send my teachers and classmates chocolate. I still remember how the boxes looked like. The second incident is that I tried to go home on my own and I got lost. I was walking in the street and crying. My aunt was a high school student. Although she asked me to wait for her to pick me up, I found the school gate open and decided to wander around. Thinking that I could walk home on my own, I was walking in circles and did not know where to go. So I cried and cried and cried. But finally, my aunt was able to find me and take me home safely.